A Capable Christian Proverbs 31:10-31, Mark 9:33-37
A capable wife, who can find?
The mayor and his wife were walking down the city street
picking their way over broken concrete past a construction project.
A man’s voice from high on the scaffolding called out to the woman.
She looked up, shaded her eyes, and waved excitedly. “Oh, Hi Tom!”
The mayor looked askance at his wife
and when they had proceeded down the street he asked her, “Who was that?”
She said, “Oh, that was Tom, my ex-boyfriend.”
The mayor paused, hooked his thumbs in his suspenders and said,
“I guess if you had married him you’d be the wife of a construction worker.”
She thought a moment and replied, “No, if I’d married him, he’d be the mayor!”
The poem we read from Proverbs could be titled “Ode to a Capable Wife.”
I have never used it as a primary text for a sermon,
though I HAVE read it from time to time at a memorial service
as a tribute to a woman who has died.
The problem with this passage is that, if taken at face value,
it presents a daunting job description.
It seems to have loaded every component of family life onto the back of the wife
and left the husband free to hang with his buddies
smoking the hookah down at the city gates.
I’m part of a lectionary study group of other ministers that meets every Tuesday.
There are five of us, two of whom are women.
I have to warn you that in our discussion this past Tuesday
each of the women had only negative things to say about this passage,
shaking their heads and clucking their tongues
at the chauvinistic, paternalistic, stupidistic drivel it contains
and the heavy burden of responsibility it lays
on any woman who takes it seriously.
One of my colleagues was reminded of a classic bit of feminist commentary
written by Judy Syfers for Ms. magazine back in 1971.
Syfers, thinking of a recently divorced male friend who was looking for another wife
realized, as she thought about it, that she would like a wife, too.
She entitled her essay on the subject, “Why I Want a Wife.”
Here’s some of that essay:
I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue care for me and my children when I need a rest and change of scenery. I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife's duties….
You get the idea. Seyfers ends with the question,
“Who wouldn’t want a wife?”
It would be easy to just skip over this passage, ignore it and go to something else.
OH how that would be easy!
But, faint hearts never preached good sermons, so I decided to give it a shot.
As in every diligent study of scripture,
it’s important to look not only at the content of the selected passage
but at it’s literary structure and it’s context.
Sometimes the literary structure and context tell you nothing new,
but in this case literary structure and contexts are loaded with information
about how to interpret this passage.
For example, we can’t tell this by reading an English translation,
but this poem is what’s called an acrostic.
There are twenty-two letters in the Hebrew alphabet
and each line of the poem in Hebrew begins with each letter of the alphabet.
That explains why in English the poem seems to contain
an overwhelming laundry list of responsibilities for the “capable” wife.
The author had to come up with twenty-two of them.
Think of what it would be like if we were to write such a poem with our alphabet.
A “A capable wife who can find.
B Better than a shiny new pick up truck, she is.
C Couldn’t get along without her constant reminders.
D Dippin’ snuff is her favorite thing in the whole world.
E Everybody says she cleans up real nice….”
Well, you get the picture.
The second thing we learn about this poem by looking at it’s context
in the book of Proverbs is that it acts as a bookend.
The book we know as Proverbs is a collection of three different types of writings.
holding these different writings together is the overall theme of wisdom,
and wisdom is personified in Proverbs as a woman.
The book begins with parents instructing their son
on how to start a household using the feminine principle of wisdom.
Specifically, he is told what qualities to look for in a new wife.
One of my favorite guidelines for finding a wife is in Proverbs 11:22 which says,
“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without good sense.”
After all the instruction, the book ends with our poem,
a tribute to a mature wife who is the crowning glory to a mature man.
Now, recognizing the literary structure of the poem
and being able to put it into context still may not make you feel all warm and fuzzy.
Some are offended by what they see as the poem’s focus on “works righteousness”
that is, the implied message that your value as a human being or a child of God
is only as great as what you are able to accomplish;
how many things you can get done in a twenty-four hour period.
That is certainly contrary to the gospel of grace,
the message of Jesus that says we are valued not for what we do,
but for who we are in God’s eyes.
We’re not saved by works but saved by faith.
Still, to those who complain about this passage I would encourage a closer look,
a more careful study not of the excesses but of the essence of the poem.
The poem elevates some very important character traits;
traits that are in woefully short supply in our culture.
It elevates trustworthiness, industry, honesty, dignity, kindness, generosity.
These are traits echoed in James’ letter as he writes of wisdom
not from below (envy, selfish ambition, boasting, falsehood)
but wisdom from above (peacefulness, gentleness, humility, and mercy).
It’s not just a capable wife who is called to exhibit these traits.
These are traits that should be evident in the mature Christian.
Not that we’re all mature Christians,
but shouldn’t that be what we’re aiming for?
It’s almost embarrassing to read again of the immaturity of Jesus’ disciples
who got into that argument on the way to Capernaum.
“Who is the greatest?”
What knuckleheads.
Standing right next to the man himself,
hearing Jesus’ predictions of suffering and sacrifice,
and still they get into it about who’ll have the best parking place
and who’ll have the most direct access to power.
It’s clear that Jesus was upset by this.
He didn’t just give them a talking to.
He SAT THEM DOWN and gave them a talking to.
He gently hooked a nearby child, pulled him close and gave him nuggies.
You want to see great?
Here, this is great.
I’m here to turn great on it’s ear.
If he’d been the writer of proverbs or James he might have said to them.
Chasing after greatness is folly.
Allowing God to make you great,
THAT is the beginning of wisdom.
Our culture is all about chasing after greatness;
greatness, that is, defined by fame and celebrity,
or expensive cars and a big bank account.
Kathryn came home Thursday talking about a faculty meeting
at the high school where she teaches English.
The on-campus police officer was telling them how to spot signs of gangs.
On one level it puzzles me that teenagers in rural Virginia from working class families
so desperately want to emulate poor urban teens in Los Angeles.
Experts say it’s because they feel disconnected and want to belong to something.
I suppose that’s true.
But I think it’s also because they see membership in a gang
as a path to greatness, greatness at least in terms of notoriety.
You and I know that’s folly.
Apparently they have no one at home teaching them the path to wisdom.
They watch television, they listen to music, they read magazines
each of which tells them that greatness comes through fame and fortune.
Greatness comes through being the meanest guy on the block.
Greatness comes through being outrageous or acting like you don’t care.
But wisdom, the wisdom of Proverbs, the wisdom of James, the wisdom of Jesus
is that greatness comes through trustworthiness, industry, honesty,
dignity, kindness, and generosity.
It’s nothing fancy. It might not get you in the newspaper.
but then again it might.
An article appeared back in May in the New York Times,
certainly a leading national newspaper.
It was about Joann Ferrara, a physical therapist by training,
who decided to start a ballet class for some little girls who just didn’t fit
into a regular ballet class.
These little girls have cerebral palsy or some other congenital weakness.
Some wear leg braces. Some are on walkers.
But Joann wanted them “to feel the joy sheer joy of movement
and to be proud of themselves.”
She recruited high school students as buddies
to give whatever physical support is necessary.
When Monica, age 5, began the class, her left side was so weak
that she was barely able to use a walker.
Heather O'Halleran, 16, Monica’s buddy, has been so persistent with her
that Monica is just about ready to stand with the use of a cane,
and doctors hope that she will walk one day without any help.
Outside of this article I don’t know Joann Ferrara.
I don’t know if she “rises while it is still night and provides food for her household,”
or if she has ever “considered a field and bought it,”
or if she has ever “made linen cloth and sold it.”
That’s all beside the point.
But she does indeed exhibit the qualities the scripture writers hold dear:
trustworthiness, industry, honesty, dignity, kindness, generosity.
And I will guarantee that at the end of her class’s ballet recital
when the last note has played, and, with the help of buddies
the last bow has been taken
her children will rise up – on braces, on walkers, on the wobbly legs of a new colt
and their parents, too, will rise up – up on tiptoes, up on clouds
they will all rise up and call her blessed.
A capable Christian, who can find?
Kilgannon, Corey. Given a Chance to Be Little Ballerinas, and Smiling Right Down to Their Toes, New York Times,
May 5, 2006.
The mayor and his wife were walking down the city street
picking their way over broken concrete past a construction project.
A man’s voice from high on the scaffolding called out to the woman.
She looked up, shaded her eyes, and waved excitedly. “Oh, Hi Tom!”
The mayor looked askance at his wife
and when they had proceeded down the street he asked her, “Who was that?”
She said, “Oh, that was Tom, my ex-boyfriend.”
The mayor paused, hooked his thumbs in his suspenders and said,
“I guess if you had married him you’d be the wife of a construction worker.”
She thought a moment and replied, “No, if I’d married him, he’d be the mayor!”
The poem we read from Proverbs could be titled “Ode to a Capable Wife.”
I have never used it as a primary text for a sermon,
though I HAVE read it from time to time at a memorial service
as a tribute to a woman who has died.
The problem with this passage is that, if taken at face value,
it presents a daunting job description.
It seems to have loaded every component of family life onto the back of the wife
and left the husband free to hang with his buddies
smoking the hookah down at the city gates.
I’m part of a lectionary study group of other ministers that meets every Tuesday.
There are five of us, two of whom are women.
I have to warn you that in our discussion this past Tuesday
each of the women had only negative things to say about this passage,
shaking their heads and clucking their tongues
at the chauvinistic, paternalistic, stupidistic drivel it contains
and the heavy burden of responsibility it lays
on any woman who takes it seriously.
One of my colleagues was reminded of a classic bit of feminist commentary
written by Judy Syfers for Ms. magazine back in 1971.
Syfers, thinking of a recently divorced male friend who was looking for another wife
realized, as she thought about it, that she would like a wife, too.
She entitled her essay on the subject, “Why I Want a Wife.”
Here’s some of that essay:
I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue care for me and my children when I need a rest and change of scenery. I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife's duties….
You get the idea. Seyfers ends with the question,
“Who wouldn’t want a wife?”
It would be easy to just skip over this passage, ignore it and go to something else.
OH how that would be easy!
But, faint hearts never preached good sermons, so I decided to give it a shot.
As in every diligent study of scripture,
it’s important to look not only at the content of the selected passage
but at it’s literary structure and it’s context.
Sometimes the literary structure and context tell you nothing new,
but in this case literary structure and contexts are loaded with information
about how to interpret this passage.
For example, we can’t tell this by reading an English translation,
but this poem is what’s called an acrostic.
There are twenty-two letters in the Hebrew alphabet
and each line of the poem in Hebrew begins with each letter of the alphabet.
That explains why in English the poem seems to contain
an overwhelming laundry list of responsibilities for the “capable” wife.
The author had to come up with twenty-two of them.
Think of what it would be like if we were to write such a poem with our alphabet.
A “A capable wife who can find.
B Better than a shiny new pick up truck, she is.
C Couldn’t get along without her constant reminders.
D Dippin’ snuff is her favorite thing in the whole world.
E Everybody says she cleans up real nice….”
Well, you get the picture.
The second thing we learn about this poem by looking at it’s context
in the book of Proverbs is that it acts as a bookend.
The book we know as Proverbs is a collection of three different types of writings.
holding these different writings together is the overall theme of wisdom,
and wisdom is personified in Proverbs as a woman.
The book begins with parents instructing their son
on how to start a household using the feminine principle of wisdom.
Specifically, he is told what qualities to look for in a new wife.
One of my favorite guidelines for finding a wife is in Proverbs 11:22 which says,
“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without good sense.”
After all the instruction, the book ends with our poem,
a tribute to a mature wife who is the crowning glory to a mature man.
Now, recognizing the literary structure of the poem
and being able to put it into context still may not make you feel all warm and fuzzy.
Some are offended by what they see as the poem’s focus on “works righteousness”
that is, the implied message that your value as a human being or a child of God
is only as great as what you are able to accomplish;
how many things you can get done in a twenty-four hour period.
That is certainly contrary to the gospel of grace,
the message of Jesus that says we are valued not for what we do,
but for who we are in God’s eyes.
We’re not saved by works but saved by faith.
Still, to those who complain about this passage I would encourage a closer look,
a more careful study not of the excesses but of the essence of the poem.
The poem elevates some very important character traits;
traits that are in woefully short supply in our culture.
It elevates trustworthiness, industry, honesty, dignity, kindness, generosity.
These are traits echoed in James’ letter as he writes of wisdom
not from below (envy, selfish ambition, boasting, falsehood)
but wisdom from above (peacefulness, gentleness, humility, and mercy).
It’s not just a capable wife who is called to exhibit these traits.
These are traits that should be evident in the mature Christian.
Not that we’re all mature Christians,
but shouldn’t that be what we’re aiming for?
It’s almost embarrassing to read again of the immaturity of Jesus’ disciples
who got into that argument on the way to Capernaum.
“Who is the greatest?”
What knuckleheads.
Standing right next to the man himself,
hearing Jesus’ predictions of suffering and sacrifice,
and still they get into it about who’ll have the best parking place
and who’ll have the most direct access to power.
It’s clear that Jesus was upset by this.
He didn’t just give them a talking to.
He SAT THEM DOWN and gave them a talking to.
He gently hooked a nearby child, pulled him close and gave him nuggies.
You want to see great?
Here, this is great.
I’m here to turn great on it’s ear.
If he’d been the writer of proverbs or James he might have said to them.
Chasing after greatness is folly.
Allowing God to make you great,
THAT is the beginning of wisdom.
Our culture is all about chasing after greatness;
greatness, that is, defined by fame and celebrity,
or expensive cars and a big bank account.
Kathryn came home Thursday talking about a faculty meeting
at the high school where she teaches English.
The on-campus police officer was telling them how to spot signs of gangs.
On one level it puzzles me that teenagers in rural Virginia from working class families
so desperately want to emulate poor urban teens in Los Angeles.
Experts say it’s because they feel disconnected and want to belong to something.
I suppose that’s true.
But I think it’s also because they see membership in a gang
as a path to greatness, greatness at least in terms of notoriety.
You and I know that’s folly.
Apparently they have no one at home teaching them the path to wisdom.
They watch television, they listen to music, they read magazines
each of which tells them that greatness comes through fame and fortune.
Greatness comes through being the meanest guy on the block.
Greatness comes through being outrageous or acting like you don’t care.
But wisdom, the wisdom of Proverbs, the wisdom of James, the wisdom of Jesus
is that greatness comes through trustworthiness, industry, honesty,
dignity, kindness, and generosity.
It’s nothing fancy. It might not get you in the newspaper.
but then again it might.
An article appeared back in May in the New York Times,
certainly a leading national newspaper.
It was about Joann Ferrara, a physical therapist by training,
who decided to start a ballet class for some little girls who just didn’t fit
into a regular ballet class.
These little girls have cerebral palsy or some other congenital weakness.
Some wear leg braces. Some are on walkers.
But Joann wanted them “to feel the joy sheer joy of movement
and to be proud of themselves.”
She recruited high school students as buddies
to give whatever physical support is necessary.
When Monica, age 5, began the class, her left side was so weak
that she was barely able to use a walker.
Heather O'Halleran, 16, Monica’s buddy, has been so persistent with her
that Monica is just about ready to stand with the use of a cane,
and doctors hope that she will walk one day without any help.
Outside of this article I don’t know Joann Ferrara.
I don’t know if she “rises while it is still night and provides food for her household,”
or if she has ever “considered a field and bought it,”
or if she has ever “made linen cloth and sold it.”
That’s all beside the point.
But she does indeed exhibit the qualities the scripture writers hold dear:
trustworthiness, industry, honesty, dignity, kindness, generosity.
And I will guarantee that at the end of her class’s ballet recital
when the last note has played, and, with the help of buddies
the last bow has been taken
her children will rise up – on braces, on walkers, on the wobbly legs of a new colt
and their parents, too, will rise up – up on tiptoes, up on clouds
they will all rise up and call her blessed.
A capable Christian, who can find?
Kilgannon, Corey. Given a Chance to Be Little Ballerinas, and Smiling Right Down to Their Toes, New York Times,
May 5, 2006.
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